Live Blogging at the Across Borders: Global Issues and Trends in LGBT Advocacy Forum

Across Borders: Global Issues and Trends in LGBT Advocacy
Bahay Isis, Marunong Street, Quezon City
July 11, 2009 1-5 pm

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Filipino LGBT Youth Suicide Risks

Another relevant and informative topic will be presented by the Rainbow Rights Projects and the UP Film Institute. The 6th leg of Dyke Dialogues and Rainbow Exchange Series will be tackling about the study by Eric Manalastas from the Department of Psychology in UP Diliman.

The sympo-forum will be held at the Videotheque, 2nd floor Ishmael Bernal Gallery, UP Diliman on June 20, 2009.

I will be expecting to learn a lot from Mr. Manalastas. It was unfortunate that I wasn't able to be his student back in college but I believe that I was able to 'sit-in' during one of his classes. :)

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Live with Pride: LGBT Jewelry from the Out of D Closet Store

I am on the look out for Pride jewelry/LGBT jewelry here in Manila and unfortunately it's not readily available in your nearest accessory or jewelry shop. Good thing someone from Out of D Closet Store in Multiply added me as a contact.

I liked some of the designs there and will be ordering some of them for myself. Here are some of the designs that I like (the photos are linked to the Multiply site):

You have the option to have it delivered at your convenience (with extra charge of course) or probably have a meet up with the seller. Payments can be made through GCash, BPI deposit and Paypal.

If you know anyone who sells Pride jewelry, feel free to suggest them here. I'd like to get one for myself and my partner too :)

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Where to Find Lezzies in the City of Manila

Here's a blogpost I wrote for Lezzy in the City:

Most of lesbian new-found friends would ask me "Where can I find lesbians in Manila?" . I know that it's been a struggle for some lesbians to find for some lesbian love in the city that is why I decided to make this topic as my first blog post. Since I am based here in Manila, I would only be able to give you suggestions around Metro Manila so here goes:

• Coffee Shops - This is a place where lesbians (and gays flock) during the day most especially in the late afternoon until evening. Some common places infested with lesbians are Starbucks Gateway (also called gayway by some), Starbucks Glorietta 4 and Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf Gateway. I've always wondered why probably since coffee shops are already everywhere and the most convenient place to meet up and talk are those places. Well I have a theory in mind: probably the reason why lesbians hang out most of the time in coffee shops is because lesbians like to talk and get to know the woman they're with more. There is a theory that biological females get attracted most if the other person target their emotions rather than trying to get them to bed. Well, in some cases probably is to at least talk to them a bit before getting laid. It's just my theory, you can dispute it :)
  

• In addition, I learned from my butch friend before about the lesbian term 'kape' came from the flocking of lesbians in coffee shops. Kape, the Filipino term for coffee is used as a verb which means to pursue romantically or lustfully. An example of a sentence would be - "Gusto kong pumunta sa Starbucks Gateway para mangape". The term 'kape' is the counterpart of the gay lingo 'karir'. I know that there are already variations of the 'kape' term, I just forgot. If you know some new terms, feel free to share it here!

• Call Center Offices/Buildings - Try to visit some of the buildings were there are call centers and you will definitely see a lesbian there. Actually, a lot of LGBTs work in call centers. I used to work in a call center and the environment is really different compared to a regular office. This is because in call centers, gender isn't really important compared to the "traditional" type of office jobs wherein gender and appearance of an applicant are issues.


• Chatrooms - I'll also tackle places in the cyberworld where you can see lesbians. The most common and probably Jurassic would be chatrooms. Lezpinay is a chatroom in MIRC, which I believe still exists, where lesbians usually chat. Decent conversations that do not only end with exchange of Friendster email addresses are rare there. Luckily, I was able to have some decent conversations there when I used to chat there. I just realized that a lot of emo butches and femmes frequent there. Try avoiding people who spell "po" with "poh" and interchange letter caps such as ThIs. Hay, kids these days. But, I am not discouraging you to lurk there. Hehe. There is also Lesbian Pilipinas, a simple lesbian social networking website which only focuses on lesbians in the Philippines. Of course, there is still Downelink, an LGBT social networking website but this is more of a global scale.


• Exclusive Lesbian Parties - These are parties organized by different lesbian clans. Maybe you'll ask where do you get to know these clans? Well, they organize themselves at social networking websites such as Friendster, Facebook, Multiply and many more. If you wanna know where the latest lesbian parties are, just add those groups in your social media accounts. These parties by the way are held at different bars around the metro, usually in Quezon City or Malate. If you are able to attend one of the parties, you'll be part of their SMS list so whenever there's a party, they'll bug you days before the event. Now, what to expect in exclusives? Well, it really depends on the organizer. Sometimes there are strippers hired (not all of them go all the way, most of them just do sexy dances) and games but the bulk are really just drinking and socializing with other lesbians. You'll get to see all types of lesbians there. Usually, there are more butches than femmes. Some would offer you ree beer. Here's an article about the launch of My Femme Magazine which can already be considered as an exclusive lesbian party.
• Bars, Malls, etc. - There isn't an exclusive lesbian bar anymore in Metro Manila. Before, there was La Dida in Malate but now we lesbians already share bars with the gays. The area within De La Salle University, College of St. Benilde and St. Scholastica's College is a good place to see lesbians. There is a bar called Dematisse then a condiminium called Providence Tower. There is a videoke place at the ground second floor called Mama V's which is open 24 hours a day and even on holidays.They're not really exclusive lesbian places but since most lesbians hang out there (probably waiting for their girlfriends from nearby universities). Gateway is a mall in Quezon City where I see lesbians too.
  


• LGBT Events - If you think that going to exclusive lesbian parties are too much for you and would prefer to have more social consciousness, then you can definitely go to LGBT events such as the Pride March. The Pride March in Manila usually happens during June and December. Aside from that, different lesbian groups organize discussion groups and forums that tackle different issues such as lesbian parenting, relationships, politics and many more.

Well, basically here are some of the places or events where you can surely find lesbians in Metro Manila. With the technology right now, information dissemination is very easy. Once you allow yourself to become a member of the LGBT online community, you will be able to know which events you can go to whether it's a party or a serious discussion group.

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Baguio LGBT Pride March

Celebrate 15 years of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender PRIDE in the Philippines, join the anniversary Pride Parade in Baguio City.


Come together on June 28, 2009 - meeting place at the Session Road @ 8:00 a.m. - supported by Metropolitan Community Churches in the Philippines and Progay Philippines. Please bring your rainbow flags and your straight family member.

The whole event will be from June 22-28, 2009.

Activities will be Pride parade, sports festival, Pride LGBT Mass and Film festival

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Lesbian Parenting in the Philippines

This has been a long overdue post because the Lesbian Parenting forum I attended was last April 18. Even though it's already been a month, it still deserves a spot here in my blog because I believe that it is one of the issues some lesbians here in the Philippines face.

What makes a family? It is not just a biological concept anymore, in fact it has evolved into a social construct. We sometimes consider long time colleagues at work as our family. The rigidity of the family as a biological concept sometimes become the root of bigotry and homophobia. The common notion is that our biological family can do no harm on us; thus the saying goes "blood is thicker than water". BUT, this is not always the case as there are biological family members of ours that abuse us and show insincerity in their actions towards us. All we need to do is to widen our minds in the concept of the family.

Lesbian Families in the Philippines. We may deny it or not but there are already lesbian families here in the Philippines. Whether they were planned (like undergoing artificial methods of pregnancy) or the woman had a child before engaging in a lesbian relationship. Whatever the grassroots were, it is already in our status quo. There are many issues that lesbian families in the Philippines face because primarily, we do not have a law that legitimizes lesbian partners taking custody of children in case something happens to the partner. Under the Philippine Family Code, a child that is born out of wedlock is considered illegitimate. Thus a lesbian couple's child is illegitimate and has to be with the biological mother's custody. We do not have same sex unions in the Philippines and so the problem arises when lesbian couples decide to have their own children. A lot of couples, who have the capacity to spend money, go to countries were same sex union and adoption is legal. But how about the lesbian couples who aren't well off? They have to face whatever existing Philippine laws and work around it. It's a good thing that we have lesbian lawyers that can give us suggestions on how we can make the existing laws beneficial for lesbian couples who currently have children and are still planning to have one.

Let me summarize the things that I learned from the lesbian parenting forum and these are 3 ways to legalize the documents for lesbian parents and their children:

1) Adoption
This is what usually lesbian couples opt to choose. It may look like an easy way out BUT if this is chosen, the biological mother will be removed of her rights as the mother. Adoption can be used for heterosexual couples. This can only work if we have same-sex unions here in the Philippines but unfortunately, we don't have it yet.

2) Living Wills
According to the lesbian lawyers, this has been becoming a trend in the United States wherein LGBT parents have living wills. According to Wiki, Living Wills are

instructions given by individuals specifying what actions should be taken for their health in the event that they are no longer able to make decisions due to illness or incapacity. A living will is one form of advance directive, leaving instructions for treatment. Another form authorizes a specific type of power of attorney or health care proxy, where someone is appointed by the individual to make decisions on their behalf when they are incapacitated. People may also have a combination of both. It is often encouraged that people complete both documents to provide the most comprehensive guidance regarding their care.

In relation to this, you can make your own "living will" while you are still young and state in that document that you are giving your partner a right to decide when you are incapacitated or die. You can give your partner the right to have have custody of the child. Well, this hasn't been done yet in the Philippines according to the lesbian lawyers. Under the Philippine law, it is always the welfare of the child that is being taken into consideration. Just make sure that your partner is capable of taking care of the children so that there wouldn't be any issues with your immediate family.

3) Special Power of Attorney (SPOA)
According to Wiki:

A power of attorney (POA) or letter of attorney in common law systems or mandate in civil law systems is an authorization to act on someone else's behalf in a legal or business matter. The person authorizing the other to act is the principal, granter or donor (of the power), and the one authorized to act is the agent, the attorney-in-fact, or in many Common Law jurisdictions, simply the attorney.

In the Philippines, this kind of document is not very much welcomed in terms of lesbian co-parenting. Probably in the context of business matters, this document can be utilized.

In summary, there is still no absolute way for lesbian co-parenting here in the Philippines. Like I said earlier, these suggestions are just some of the things that you can probably do when you decide to legalize things. As of this moment, the probability that these suggestions will work is not that high yet. If you have a lesbian family and has done legal actions, whether successful or not, please share your experiences here or contact LGBT organizations so that other lesbians will be enlightened on this matter. We need to help each other for the common good.

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Ways to Get Pregnant:The Lesbian Way

Before I blog about the lesbian parenting forum I attended weeks ago, I will blog first about the different ways on how to get pregnant: The Lesbian Way.

Well we already know the non-lesbian way, which I believe also is the 'most desperate move' a lesbian couple can make, and that is to have sex with a guy. But if you lesbians couldn't take it, then there's no need to worry because there are different ways of getting yourself pregnant without having to undergo having sex with a man. You will still need their sperm of course. Here are some of the ways to get pregnant:

Intrauterine Insemination (IUI)

It is also called "Intrauterine insemination (IUI)" and in this procedure, the important thing is that there should be a donor and the frozen sperm is washed. Now the reason the sperm should be washed first is because the woman's uterus may react negatively due to the wastes from the sperm. Obviously, fresh sperm cannot be used. Also, the woman has to take fertility medications to promote the release of the eggs per cycle. Now this is a trial and error procedure which means that conception will not happen on the first time it's done. Usually it takes 5-6 IUIs before it becomes successful. By the way, the success rate of conceiving a baby is 5-20%.

How much is it and where are the facilities for it?

In the United States, it costs around $300 and this includes the medications, check-ups, etc.. This does not include the sperm vials yet. Each sperm vial costs around $500 and each IUI session would require you to have 2 sperm vials. So the computation would be ($500x 2 sperm vials) $1000 x 6 cycles (sessions)= $6000 just for the sperm vials alone. According to the lawyer-lesbian couple, IUI can also be done in Singapore that is much cheaper. The problem is the authorities in Singapore require a marriage certificate and a sperm sample in exchange to what will be used (somewhat like a blood bank). Obviously IUI in Singapore is for heterosexual couples who are having the hard time to conceive a child.

In the Philippines, St. Luke's Hospital in Quezon City and Victory Art Laboratory in Makati which offer the facility to conduct IUI. The problem in the Philippines is that sperm banks here are not really reliable (as blood banks also) because there aren't thorough testing that's being done. Most people would rely on acquiring sperms from people they know which would only result to more chaos. It is advisable to get an anonymous sperm donor to avoid any legal issues. The cost of doing IUI in the Philippines: Php 41,000 per cycle (around $870). The cost will depend if the woman will be injected with some injectibles and fertility medications too. If the woman wouldn't need injectibles then the amount will be lowered to around Php 18,0000 ($400) and that's including the fertility medications to be taken. It's much cheaper but there is a risk sanitation-wise.


In Vitro Fertilization (IVF)

In this procedure, the sperm and egg are combined in a small dish to form embryos and then it will be injected to the woman's uterus. The babies produced in this kind of procedure are sometimes called 'test tube babies' because the formation of the embryo is done in a laboratory.

How much is it?

In this procedure, the woman has to undergo fertility medications and minor surgery as well. Here in the Philippines, the medications alone will cost around Php 50,000.

Intracervical Insemination (ICI)

This procedure is almost the same with IUI except that the sperm is injected in the cervix instead in the uterus. There will be fertility medications that may be prescribed to the woman to initiate ovulation. The procedure is just short, usually takes about 10 minutes. Success rate is about 5%-20% per cycle.

How much is it?

This is much cheaper than IUI. In the United States, it costs around $200-$300 per cycle. I am just not sure how much it is here in the Philippines. The cost actually increases when sperm donor is needed.

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